Happy May!

Today I was thinking of the saying “April showers bring May flowers”. That saying doesn’t really fit for Florida weather (as there really hasn’t been any rain to speak of), which is where I am currently but it definitely fits for Vancouver’s weather. May is a time for new beginnings, the sun is warming, flowers are starting to bloom, birds are chirping and the garden is showing signs of growth. May is also Women’s Health Month. What will you do this month to take care of yourself?

For me, taking care of myself and working my program of recovery are two in the same. I heard someone recently share that recovery is simply taking good care of myself in all areas of my life; physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. Am I looking after my physical body? Am I looking after my emotional health? How are my relationships? Do I follow a daily spiritual practice? In order for me to truly look after myself, I need to take care of my whole being. If one pillar of my foundation is shaky then truly my whole being is off kilter. The scary part is that I may not even notice I have a shaky pillar until all four of my pillars are in jeopardy and then I am in a pretty desperate situation. The good news is that it now doesn’t take much for me to get back on track and once again, be in a place of positively moving forward.

It’s vital for me, especially as an addict in recovery, to take a pulse check often of how I’m doing in all areas of my life as it is very easy for me to slip back into poor self-care. Recently, I learned a new tool called a Recovery Grid created by Roland Williams. The details of how to use the grid are a different topic (a great topic but a different newsletter) however I thought the healthy living checklists were brilliant. I have shared them in the box below so you can assess how you are doing with self-care. This is by no means so that we can judge and be critical of ourselves. It’s just a great checkpoint. For me, I need as many tools as I possibly can have in my tool belt to help me be honest and see if I am on track. I lived so much of my life being in dishonesty with myself that I truly often can’t see the truth.

Take a look at the grid below and notice the things you are doing and notice what you’re not doing. Would the things you are not doing be beneficial for your personal recovery and well – being? If so, what commitments are you willing to make around doing these things? Remember that small changes are much more attainable than lofty grandiose commitments that we actually never end up doing and then get to feel bad about ourselves for not doing (I know this one well).

As I have been writing this article, I have taken note of areas that I haven’t been focusing on and I can definitely tell there are several. Under my physical health, I really haven’t been doing any consistent exercise lately. Exercise is something I either seem to do full on or not at all (an addict…you think?). Recently, I have been in the not at all part of the compulsion. So about 2 weeks ago I committed to taking a 30-minute walk every day. I’m pretty sure I haven’t missed a day. My mind can easily tell me all sorts of negative things about this like; 30-minute walk – that’s nothing, you should be running, what about cardio…and the chatter continues.  The important thing here is that I took a look at what I am and what I am not doing to look after myself which allows me to then get honest and make changes that support my long-term health physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. And that my friends is a beautiful piece of recovery…that I actually can take a look, get honest and make commitments (that I actually keep) to move towards recovery and away from relapse or towards health and away from the disease. That is a miracle.

Would love to hear what you will do to look after yourself in the month of May (men too).

The start of summer is a busy time at ACORN. Today, we start a Primary Intensive in Florida, followed by a week of Living In Recovery and a Step 4-9 Alumni weekend to finish it off. In June we have a Primary Intensive starting June 8^th in Vancouver, followed by a Relapse Prevention Alumni Weekend (I think there is waiting room only for this left?) and then a week of Living In Recovery. There are many events that could be part of your self-care plan.

Wishing you a happy, healthy, sober May.

Peace & Abstinence, Amanda

Upcoming ACORN Events

• May 4 – 9 ~ – Primary Intensive
  Bradenton, FL
• May 10 – 16 ~ Living in Recovery
  Bradenton, FL
• May 18 – 20 ~ Alumni Retreat: Blocks to Working Steps 4 – 9
  Bradenton, FL
• June 8 – 13 ~ Primary Intensive
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 15 – 17 ~ Alumni Retreat: Recovery and Relapse Prevention
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 18 – 23 ~ Living in Recovery
  Vancouver, B.C.

For over twenty years, ACORN Primary Intensives have focused on helping food addicts do deeper food First Steps – “We admitted we were powerless over food….”  We have received numerous requests for a workshop focused on blocks to working Steps 4 through 9.  Please join us as we launch this new alumni workshop.

Here are some of the blocks ACORN alumni have shared with us while working Steps 4 through 9:

1. Some find it difficult to complete a 4th Step inventory; others have difficult starting the process.
2. Some find that when they get into the substance of 4th Step work, emotional issues arise that they either don’t have the skills to deal with or which trigger prior unresolved trauma.  While the place to actually do the rigorous process of Steps 4 through 9 is in a Twelve Step fellowship, and the place to do long-term work on unresolved trauma is in professional therapy, ACORN staff are skilled at helping people sort these issues out and developing a plan of action.
3. Some who have relapsed or are chronic relapsers, find that one of the problems is that they have never gone through the Steps rigorously and fully “cleaned house.”  Paradoxically, this is often because they do not believe that they need to do this in-depth inventory work in order to sustain long-term recovery; this means they need to do deeper First Step work to accept they have a substantial brain disease as well as a craving for specific foods.

The workshop will begin in the usual ACORN style with secrets about food and current Twelve Step process. Then we will have an exercise in which everyone will do a piece of writing on Step Four – looking at resentments, fear and relationships (sex conduct). This is followed by a simple process actually doing Steps Five, Six, Seven, Eight and Nine together. Then, in a process group format, we will focus on any difficult emotional and spiritual issues which come up for each person. For those needing instruction in rigorous approaches to the Steps, there will be help similar to that in alcohol and drug addiction treatment. The workshop will conclude with people doing an aftercare plan which incorporates structure for continuing the work begun during the weekend.

The groups will be led by ACORN facilitators who are, themselves, long-time abstinent recovered food addicts, have done all the Steps thoroughly, and who have experience in helping with the deeper emotional and spiritual issues that often come up in the course of serious food addiction recovery.

Please note:  Our assumption is that it remains best to actually do the inventory Steps in a food-related Twelve Step fellowship of your choice, and the workshop is not meant to replace such work.

Upcoming Events

• May 4 – 9 ~ – Primary Intensive
  Bradenton, FL
• May 10 – 16 ~ Living in Recovery
  Bradenton, FL
• May 18 – 20 ~ Alumni Retreat: Blocks to Working Steps 4 – 9
  Bradenton, FL
• June 8 – 13 ~ Primary Intensive
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 15 – 17 ~ Alumni Retreat: Recovery and Relapse Prevention
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 18 – 23 ~ Living in Recovery
  Vancouver, B.C.

Happy National Nutrition month!

Every March since 1973 the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics has run a campaign focused on bringing people nutrition information and education. The campaign’s focus is on the importance of making informed food choices. “Making informed food choices”…hmm, for a food addict like me, this sounds like an oxymoron!

While I was active in my addiction, shoving food down my throat, there was absolutely no way I could make any informed decisions, much less about food!  And unfortunately, once I got that I was addicted to food, it was pretty hard to get any helpful information on what “making informed food choices” would look like for someone with the disease of food addiction.

The many well-meaning, doctors, nutritionists and dietitians I sought out for help simply made it worse, as they had – literally – no idea what I truly needed to treat my food addiction. And, the truth is, there are only a small handful of doctors and nutritionists/dietitians who do have the knowledge that an addict, like me, needs to support her recovery.

We asked one of those “knowledgeable” dietitians, David Avram Wolfe, to write a brief article (see below) on what he believes it takes for a food addict to be successful in their recovery. David is a registered dietitian, sugar addiction coach, food addiction counsellor and the founder of Trigger Free Nutrition, Triggerfreenutrition.com.

Wishing everyone an abstinent, peaceful last week of March,

Space is available for the Men’s 3-Days with Phil – April 6 – 8

Don’t delay registering for this event! You can register online or call the ACORN office at 941-378-2122.

Upcoming Events

• April 6 – 8 ~ “Men’s 3-Days with Phil“
  Charlton, MA
• May 4 – 9 ~ – Primary Intensive
  Bradenton, FL
• May 10 – 16 ~ Living in Recovery
  Bradenton, FL
• May 18 – 20 ~ Alumni Retreat: Blocks to Working Steps 4 – 9
  Bradenton, FL
• June 8 – 13 ~ Primary Intensive
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 15 – 17 ~ Alumni Retreat: Recovery and Relapse Prevention
  Vancouver, B.C.
• June 18 – 23 ~ Living in Recovery 
  Vancouver, B.C.

Weekly Teleconference “Nuts & Bolts”

Please join us Wednesday evenings for recovery support.

This no-cost abstinence support group is open to all. Led by Sherri Goodman, professional trainee. thereveals@frontier.com
Wednesdays at 7 pm (EST.)
Conference call in number:
(605) 468-8002
Access Number 1014962#

Men’s 3-Days with Phil – April 6 – 8

“I feel so blessed to have found ACORN and to have the support I needed to do my work. The intensives and 3-Days have moved me further along in my recovery journey at a deeper level. “

ACORN has a lively history of men’s workshops. Personally, I did not meet another man who was food abstinent until I was in stable recovery for over a year. I was delighted when I heard about a men’s Twelve Step group for overeaters in Los Angeles that had been meeting for over two decades.

They began each meeting by saying, “There are some things that men find it very difficult to say in a female-majority meeting. This is the place where we can say it all.”  With that in mind, that’s how we have begun every men’s retreat or workshop that I have led for ACORN.

I remember when we announced at an early Philadelphia retreat that one of the breakout groups would be all male.  There was some loud whooping – and not just by the men.  That’s when I learned that this work was even more important than I had thought.

At a men’s “3-day” at a motel in New Jersey, several men started taking turns doing tantrums.  When the police knocked on the door and inquired if something was wrong, we told them, “We are practicing for the performance of a play.”  It was not entirely a deception; we were practicing being truthful about our feelings in the play of life!

Another men’s gathering, this one in New Hampshire, was a bit more subdued.  Group feedback regularly began with the phrase, “This is another thing I have never said at a meeting.”  Men have a unique box of secrets; and it is not just their feelings about intimacy and sex. Men have been especially grateful for the opportunity to work on their recovery in groups set aside for men only.

So, we have another men’s workshop coming up in New England, this one in Charlton(outside of Boston) outside of Boston on April 6^th to 8^th, 2018. Men, bring your secrets and the issues about which you have hesitated being vulnerable. As with all ACORN events, we will focus on abstinence first, absolutely, and move to emotional and spiritual work in a male voice.

“I came to ACORN somewhat blind, having hit my rock bottom. I did not want to die before I tried these resources. I came in blind and I’m now getting enlightened and “ABSTINENT.”

More from Phil…

As food addicts, many of us have special awareness of eating disorders. Personally, I spent over a decade doing serious work in therapy on my ‘underlying issues’ and, while I developed some serious emotional coping skills, my problems with food just got worse.
 
So, many of us have had to give up the belief that we are “just emotional eaters.”  Eating disorders originate in families who don’t deal with feelings well and from traumas which are pushed down; we find that foods, often special ‘comfort foods’, take away or minimize the pain.  Food addiction is an entirely different disease. It is caused by specific toxic foods which change the brain biochemically and turn it into being chemically dependent on these very same foods.
 
With eating disorders, “It is not what you are eating, but what’s eating you.”  The solution is to work towards being able to eat all foods in moderation by using emotion skills to deal with difficulty feelings and resolve prior traumas.
 
On the other hand, with food addiction, “It’s not the food – unless it is the food. Then it is the food – until it is not the food.  Then, it is not the food.”  Whew!  Got it?  The solution is to begin by eliminating all your binge foods completely, and then work on the deep emotional and spiritual issues.
 
Many people come to ACORN workshops pretty certain that they are emotional eaters, that is, bingeing, purging and/or restricting out of control because they have an eating disorder.  They are confused as to whether or not they are food addicted. In fact, many are surprised to find that they would rather have an eating disorder than a food addiction.  They really do not want to abstain from their ‘favorite’ foods, much less have to work with another food addict to be accountable. It is often seen as too much work.  Moreover, they want to be able to eat what they want to eat, as much of it as they want, and when they want to.
 
The ACORN Primary Intensive is a way to learn about eating disorders and food addiction intellectually, and then match it to your own experience.
 
There is no better way to do so than to act as if you are food addicted with a group of other people.  Do you resist surrendering toxic foods?  Could it be a sign of physical craving?  Do you experience symptoms of withdrawal when you abstain?  Does the craving diminish or go away after a few days of abstinence?  What do you learn from looking at ways you are secretive or manipulative about food?  Has dieting and other ways of controlling your weight worked?  Can you identify specific incidents when you were powerless over food?  What do you learn as you discover the emotional, mental and spiritual distortions with these physical attempts to control?
 
That’s what the work of the ACORN Primary Intensive is all about.  By actually doing the work of food addiction recovery, you don’t try to think your way into recovery actions; rather, if you are food addicted, you act your way into accurate thinking!
 
For many, there is a second important learning.  When abstinent, difficult feelings often come to the surface and the old coping mechanisms of food are no longer of any help.  Personally, that’s what happened for me in early recovery.  When I was abstinent, feelings of fear, anger, sadness and willfulness arose that I never learned to deal with while in therapy and still active with the food. 
 
So, some of us are both food addicted and eating disordered.  I had to learn how to deal with both of these brain diseases through abstinence first.  That is exactly what we work to help people learn to do at the ACORN Primary Intensive.  Please join us.  I would love to see you!