Welcome to No-Nonsense November! What exactly does that mean? Aren’t we told to have fun in recovery? Yes, of course, having fun, relaxing and enjoying life are among the many benefits of being in recovery.

Nonsense, however, is something different. Nonsense is choosing to put people, places or things before recovery. It’s deciding that “just one” bite of addictive food isn’t a big deal or deciding that going to meetings is a waste of time.

Nonsense is also hanging around with people who are dangerous to recovery or who are still bingeing. It’s using other substances or people to avoid dealing with feelings or participating in activities that encourage relapse.

Though nonsense can be different for each person, for the majority of us in recovery, it means playing around with the foundations of recovery that work for you.This can mean deciding to prepare meals for others that include foods not on your food plan or it may be getting so caught up in events taking place in the world that you don’t “have time” to go to meetings or shop for abstinent food.

Most of all, nonsense as it relates to recovery is the act of slowly letting recovery be replace by other “more important” things, which almost always results in a SLIP– Sobriety Loses Its Priority.

As we continue to celebrate No-Nonsense November, it’s important to remember that recovery is the most important thing in our lives, no matter what.  There is no nonsense worth losing that.

Whatever your feelings are about Halloween, one thing we can all agree on is that it is one of several upcoming holidays which revolve around food. For those who are food dependent, these kinds of holidays can be challenging and for those in recovery they can result in relapse.

Whether it’s to please other people, to try and escape from uncomfortable feelings, to relax after a tough week or just to convince themselves that they’re not that bad, those with food dependency issues have hundreds of excuses to overeat.

The truth is that none of these excuses are valid. They are just that – excuses. The fact is that if someone who is physically or emotionally dependent on a certain food begins to eat this food again, their lives will begin to spiral downward. They will, once again, become obsessed with food and their lives will be ruled by bingeing and obsessive thoughts.

Sometimes the relapse process begins very slowly with one stray thought about being able to handle giving out candy to children on Halloween. Then, the smell of the candy, the festive atmosphere and the emotional longing kick in. And while, a binge may not take place immediately, the seed has been planted. The leftover candy is in the house.  A plan begins to take shape. The justification begins.  Having “just one” can’t hurt.  Promises about starting over tomorrow and pushing aside the facts about the addictive process ignite.

This is the beginning of the end of recovery.

Though not everyone who does these things will end up in relapse, far too many of those who are food dependent will never again be able to get back into recovery while others will struggle through years of bingeing before finally reaching a bottom that will bring them back.

So, while it may be tempting to celebrate Halloween even though you don’t feel strong in your recovery, remember there is another choice. You do not have to be forced into doing anything that is not good for your recovery.

The answer to the question, Tricks, Treats or Treatment, for some is NONE. It’s not required that you take part in any Halloween celebration if that’s not safe for you.  Instead, think about how, or if, you want to celebrate Halloween at all.

The choice is always yours!

As Stay Strong September comes to a close, I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways we stay strong in recovery. While some are obvious – we follow our food plans no matter what, we ask for help when we need it, and we stay connected to others who are also food dependent – others are not. And some don’t even make sense until you think about them.

Staying strong by letting go is one of these. When I first heard this idea, I needed to really think about it to understand how letting go would give me strength. Before recovery, I believed that I just had to try harder to find a way to lose weight and keep it off. Letting go, giving up, wasn’t an option for me.

I thought I needed to keep fighting, to keep trying anything and everything I could to lose weight. I did this for decades until I was so exhausted that I had no energy left to keep fighting. I was too humiliated and depressed to keep going. I decided to try one more thing before resigning myself to a miserable life. I let go.

Of course, that one more thing was to attend an Acorn Intensive, which is the program that not only saved but changed my life. Almost the minute I decided to stop fighting, I found the answers I had been fighting to find.

I never imagined that the act of letting go would make me stronger than I’ve ever been in my entire life. By letting go and surrendering to the things I learned at the Acorn Intensive, I’ve been able to lose more than half of my body size and that’s only the beginning!

As I’ve continued in my recovery, I’ve learned that letting go of people, places and things allows me to keep the serenity that I cherish. When I let go, I stop trying to run the show and I let things happen naturally. I no longer need to convince people to do the things I think they should do – you know how well that goes!

Though I may make plans or have goals, I understand that if these change then there is something better out there for me. I do my best not to attach myself to any one outcome by reminding myself that I do not always know what is best for me or anyone else.

This can be challenging but when I can truly let go, I gain a strength that I didn’t know I had.

I hope you stay strong for the rest of the month and check back to see what our theme is for October!

It’s not something we’re taught in school. Our families don’t usually tell us how to do this and it’s one of the hardest things for those who are food dependent to do. I’m talking about asking for help.

When I say that, I don’t mean expecting others to save or cure you. I mean genuinely asking for assistance to help you with something that’s important to your recovery such as finding someone to commit your food to or a sponsor to help you work the steps.

For those who are new to recovery, asking for help can be a truly frightening experience. Some grew up in homes where asking for help was not okay. Others were yelled at or called weak when they requested assistance. A few were even punished.

Many who are food dependent believe that they “should” be able to get into and stay in recovery without any help at all. Some think that if they just try harder, they will be able to figure things out. Almost all doubt that they even need help. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Every single food dependent person I have worked with has needed help.  In fact, every food dependent person I have ever known has needed help to get and stay in recovery.  It is just not possible to work a recovery program alone.

Think of it this way.  The only perspective and information a food dependent person has is what’s in their mind.  That mind is preoccupied with thoughts of food and weight loss and does not yet know how recovery works.  How can this mind, all by itself, figure out recovery?

Would you presume to know how to fly a plane, write a book, change a tire, or even drive a car without help from someone who knew how to do these things? Of course not. It’s the same thing with recovery.

If those who are food dependent are going to find and maintain recovery, they need to reach out and ask for help.

So, go ahead. Take a deep breath and ask!  If the answer isn’t the one you wanted, move on to the next person and keep trying. You’re worth it and so is recovery!

Is it okay to feel good when people are suffering?

This is a question we hear from food addicts even when things in the world aren’t as extraordinary as they currently are and the answer then, as now, is the same: YES! It is okay to feel good even though some people are suffering.

Feeling bad doesn’t help to make things better for anyone. Quite the opposite. Feeling good can help others to understand what’s eventually possible for them, offering a way for them to cope better with the events currently taking place in their lives.

When a food addict first enters our programs and meets living examples of people in recovery, they experience hope in a way that they never could otherwise. For the first time in their lives, they understand that it is possible for them to experience freedom from food obsession and feel good.

Seeing others feel good about their lives and their recoveries provides hope to those who are still suffering. It also allows others to understand that food addiction recovery is possible for them, too.

While we cannot ignore the suffering of other people and being insensitive to this suffering can be hurtful, we each must walk our own path and know that we are individuals experiencing what we are meant to at each moment in time. Comparing ourselves to others, or trying to feel bad to join them in their suffering does not serve them or us in any way. It actually increases the suffering in the world rather than offering hope of a time when there won’t be so much pain.

As recovering food addicts, we have more than earned the right to feel good about ourselves. This does not mean we are arrogant or self-righteous but that we recognize our value as human beings, neither above nor below anyone else.

It’s okay to feel good!