The first of the year. The beginning of the month. A Monday. The day after a holiday. All of these were markers that I used to begin a weight loss program. By the next day or two, I usually “cheated” on my diet which gave me an excuse to binge even more than before until the next “Diet Day” came around.
Each attempt left me feeling more and more hopeless and humiliated. With each binge, I lost a little piece of my self-respect and I hated myself with a growing fierceness that frightened even me sometimes. I felt trapped in a body that weighed over 300 pounds and helpless to change things.
One day, my life changed. It was the day that I attended an Acorn Intensive. What I didn’t realize until then was that I was a food addict.This meant that my body had become dependent on ingesting certain foods in order for it to function “normally.” That made it next to impossible for me to ever control what and how much I put in my mouth.
This was new information, and it all made sense. Better yet, it worked! It worked in ways I never thought possible. Yes, I cut my weight in half by releasing over 140 pounds and keeping it off (one day at a time). However, the things that have been more life-changing, surprisingly, are the internal changes — the changes in how I show up in the world, the changes in my thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day.
I have a lot more joy and gratitude every day. Most days I get up and want to participate in the world. This is not what I was used to. Before I was in recovery from food addiction, I just wanted to stay in bed, watch TV, eat food, and shut out the rest of the world. I was miserable, sad, angry, and obese.
Today, I can honestly say I am happy, joyous, grateful, and physically healthy. I truly never believed this could ever happen to me; as I said, I was resigned to being fat and miserable the rest of my life. But that isn’t the case today. I found a solution, and now I work with people every day to help lift them out of the trenches of food obsession and addiction.
If you are a food addict, don’t wait until another new year, another first of the month, another Monday or another day after a holiday. You can make a new start anytime and, if you need it, we can help.
Here’s wishing you an abstinent new year!