We are just days away from the beginning of summer…yay! I used to dread summer as for me it meant shame and pain. Shame of my obese body that I wasn’t willing to stuff into summer clothes (tank tops, shorts and bathing suits) and the physical pain of the rashes that showed up on my body from the multiple places where my skin chafed (you know what I mean, between my thighs, under my tummy…etc.). Thanks to recovery, summer means something very different for me now! It also seems like it means something different to Skylar. Skylar is an ACORN alum who joined us at our Primary Intensive just over a year ago. In honor of Men’s Health Month (yes, June is Men’s Health month) we asked Skylar to share a bit of his recovery journey with us…..and WOW what a journey! Keep reading to hear where Skylar was only 12 months ago and where he is now. Truly inspiring.
I would love to hear from our other male alum about their journey too, drop me a line, say hi and give me an update.
We also have some exciting news…TWO new locations for upcoming events!! Click here for the details. Ok, I will give you a hint…one location may possibly be in California and one location may possibly be in New England.
May your June be filled with inner peace, abstinence and growth,
I’m a 49-year-old married guy who’s been overweight most all of my life.
As a reference, just over a year ago I weighed in at around 350 lbs. and this weight was quite normal for me. I’ve had periods of some weight release over the years, with diets, trainers and personal cooks. All of these were things I knew I needed just to get me on track to be able to get on with my life and get some “normal” eating habits.
I’ve had a lot of experience with drug and alcohol addiction. I’ve been around the rooms of 12 Step fellowships for 24 years at the end of this month. This is something that I hold true and love to celebrate. I’ve worked the steps with a sponsor and have taken a lot of other men through the steps. But I did all this with an obese body; not looking within as my eating became an addiction.
About nine years ago, I first found the rooms of OA. Realizing that “I knew this stuff”, I did what I knew I needed to do. I got a sponsor, bought some literature and wrote out an abstinence list of foods that were my “alcoholic foods”. I started working on the steps, and I lost some weight. I got some freedom, but for a long time, I felt like it was still just a diet that I was on and there was a bunch of foods that I couldn’t eat. Volume of eating and time of eating were things that were still up to me to decide. When I ate out with friends or went to restaurants; as long as I was mindful about what my decisions were I was good: I still had my abstinence.
Over time I started to allow more and more foods into my life that weren’t there before. At least I wasn’t bingeing on this or that I told myself. But over time I had my weight back although I believed that I felt good about myself. I was somewhat shamed about going to OA meetings so I just started to skip those. And so I was back to the life that I’ve always known, minus a few things I learned in OA. Some time went by and I really fell back into the food, and my ever expanding wardrobe had to get a few new additions to it in the 4 to 5X size range.
Just over a year ago an old friend from OA paid me a visit. She said that my time was up and the only way out of the food addiction for me was to go to treatment. This was something I had looked at for months and even years. Within the hour, I was booked into the center. I was terrified but completely willing to do this. Over and over I considered and reconsidered: I wanted this, but I was about to get on a plane and check myself into treatment. Am I that screwed up? I knew that I didn’t know what else I could do. From that moment on I decided to stop the binge eating. I put down the sugar and a few other foods that were obviously not doing me any good, and I just waited out my days until I got on the plane.
On May 2017, I arrived, alone and a bit nervous, but totally willing to start something. I didn’t want to call this a new chapter, but it was definitely something different.
Day 1. I met the group of people who were in a similar situation as me. We talked about food plans and a whole bunch of other stuff and I committed my food for the first time to someone. That week was kind of like going to summer camp, except by the end of it I was able to have a better understanding what food addiction looks like, and how it had me in its grips.
Committing my food to a sponsor. Weighing and measuring. I was committing to all the things I said I would do at treatment. It was hard. In fact some days it really sucked, but I had willingness. Where it came from I don’t know, but I had it. The one other thing I knew I needed that nothing else out there offered me was a sense of spirituality.
Spirituality was something that helped me all those years ago in my other 12 Step program. Whatever it was back then, I really needed it now more than ever. So when I got home I checked in with my sponsor and scheduled time to work the steps. I did a bunch of grocery shopping and had to clean my kitchen. But not only with a rag and cleaning products; I got a friend to come over and give it a smudge. Some burning sage and an eagle feather filled my kitchen with smoke from the abalone shell. I placed some crystals around. I sat in the middle of my kitchen floor and started to meditate. I needed all the help I could get. And some sort of connection with the powers that be is where the difference lies. I’ve spiritualized my kitchen.
I made a commitment to my sponsor that I was going to do this food plan unchanged, weighed and measured for 90 days before reevaluating. My 90 days had come and gone, not always easy, but I did it. With the help of a dietitian, my sponsor and my sponsor’s sponsor, I did make some slight adjustment to my food plan. I definitely now know I can’t do this alone.
Today I have a great relationship with what I get to eat and with my sponsor. I go to meetings regularly and I really understand more than ever what food addiction means to me. I have admitted that I’m a food addict, powerless over food. One day at a time. I get to be free! I’m now under 200 lbs., somewhere I haven’t been since I’m sure I was a teenager. I’m feeling better than I’ve ever felt, and loving the life I get to live today.
Upcoming ACORN Events
- July 13 – 18 ~ Primary Intensive
- July 19 – 25 ~ Living In Recovery
- July 27 – 29 ~ Body Image: Living In the Beauty of Who You Are
- August 17 – 19 ~ “3-Days with ACORN”
North Hampton, NH
- September 21 – 26 ~ Primary Intensive
San Diego, CA
Weekly Teleconference “Nuts & Bolts”
Please join us Wednesday evenings for recovery support.
This no-cost abstinence support group is open to all. Led by Sherri Goodman, professional trainee. firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesdays at 7 pm (EST.)
Conference call in number:
Access Number 1014962#