My “Do Nothing” Bench – A community-submitted blog by Lisa K:
It was suggested by a counselor at SHiFT that I sit and “do nothing” for 30 minutes. She suggested I go somewhere calm and relaxing for me and sit doing nothing in this space. I thought, “no problem. I will gladly do nothing for 30 minutes. It will be fun.” I thought about the perfect place to go. I thought about the river nearby where we launch kayaks from with the slowly moving water, the green trees overhead, and the huge and plentiful mosquitoes. I thought, “how can I do nothing if I’m swatting mosquitoes for 30 minutes?” Then I thought about the trails behind our house with a swiftly moving little creek. The next thought was, “how can I do nothing with all the people walking by, the dogs barking, and the kids laughing?” I thought I could sit in my back yard at the fire pit, but again immediately thought, “how can I do nothing staring at the yard that needs flowers planted, the grass mowed, and the trees trimmed?” I’m exhausted and I haven’t found the perfect calm, relaxing place, only a head full of “how can I …?” thoughts.
I then thought about a cultured garden nearby where we are members. It is calm, peaceful, relaxing, with a little pond, and many nooks in the landscape with benches to sit upon while contemplating the nature around them. I thought, “what can I bring with me to do nothing? Can I bring my fabric applique? Can I bring a relaxing book? Can I bring my journal? Can I bring my phone?” Again, feeling exhausted before I even left the house. I brought my keys, driver’s license, the card to get in, and my phone (for emergency purposes, of course) and set out towards the gardens. The whole way there I thought about what I would think about while doing nothing. I thought about how long this excursion was going to take. I thought about how fun it will be to do nothing.
I arrived just as the gardens opened and was sparsely populated. I walked down the path past flowerbeds, lawns, trees, birds, and a few gardeners, looking for the perfect “do nothing” bench. I finally found one tucked away in a garden bed with trees, flowers, and a view of the little pond. I sat down on my “do nothing” bench and panicked. What on earth was I going to do
for 30 minutes? No one to call, nothing to do with my hands, no one to watch. So, I took out my phone and took pictures of the flowers, trees, and pond from my “do nothing” bench. I thought about my to-do list at home, my grocery list for later that day, my recovery tasks for the day, and the thoughts went on for another 15 minutes.
I finally settled down, set my alarm for 30 minutes, and stared at the pond. I looked at the flowers, I discovered 4 different species of butterflies in my little garden bed. I marveled at God’s creation, in amazement of the beautiful colors and shapes, in awe of the quietness that allowed me to hear the woodpecker at the tree to my right. I thanked God for all of this “nothingness.” I noticed my heartbeat slowed down, my breathing became calm and regular, my anxious thoughts vanished. I was left with nothing but God’s love and a peace I have never slowed down enough to feel. If this was “doing nothing” I was falling in love with the experience. When the timer went off and startled me out of my calm, I sat for another 5 minutes taking in the beauty around me and within me. Grateful to God for giving me the gift of experiencing myself alone and without distractions. A beautiful gift, in deed.
I was so excited about my experience that I returned to my “do nothing” bench to share it with my husband. We sat and did nothing for several minutes. Just holding hands in the quiet and calm space, no words, no squeezes, just nothing. I will be returning to my “do nothing” bench regularly to experience myself and the “nothingness” that I loved there. May God continue to bless my “nothingness” and may He continue to reveal myself to me on my “do nothing” bench.
Lisa K