SHiFT – Recovery by Acorn

There is a national crisis that has resulted in the unnecessary suffering and despair that children who are struggling with weight and food dependency face every day.  Let’s not turn away from this epidemic in hopes that someone else will take care of it; because no one else is!  We, the recovered food addicts who have the knowledge, tools and solution, are responsible for speaking up for and supporting the children in our lives.

I was struck by an article on the front page of the New York Times: “How Big Business Got Brazil Hooked on Junk Food.”  The article points out that, due to declining growth of sales in the wealthiest countries, multinational food companies like Nestle, PepsiCo and General Mills have been “aggressively” selling their products in developing nations.  These are the same nations where only a generation ago their people were suffering from hunger and malnutrition.  Now they are struggling with a new epidemic, obesity, which breeds diabetes, heart disease and chronic illness.

The story goes on to say that there are now 108 million obese children worldwide.  This statistic is alarming to me for many reasons, but the biggest reason is that obesity is, in the vast majority of cases, preventable! The president of Coca-Cola International, Ahmet Bozer, is quoted as recently stating, “There’s 600 million teenagers who have not had a Coke in the last week.  So the opportunity for that is huge.” Basically, these companies are gunning for our kids to up their sales and profit.

Carlos A. Monteiro, Professor of Nutrition and Public Health, at University of Sao Paulo in Brazil goes on to say, “What we have is a war between two food systems, a traditional diet of real food once produced by the farmers around you and the producers of ultra-processed food designed to be over-consumed and which in some cases are addictive.” He goes on to say, “It’s a war, but one food system has disproportionately more power than the other”!

It is shocking to me that food is actually designed to be “over-consumed.”  In other words, food is designed to become addictive, so that kids – and adults – are unable to stop eating it.  It’s designed so that our kids – and adults – will lose the choice of whether to eat it or not.  All designed so that certain food companies can make more money. This is a harsh reality, but it’s one we need to be aware of and be pro-active about.

Let’s ensure that we don’t end the attention this epidemic deserves. I don’t want any child to go through what I did as an overweight kid – the bullying, shaming, relentless teasing – and then, ultimately, move from an obese child to an obese, food addicted adult.

On this page are two pictures of my niece Georgia (yes, I know I will use any excuse to be able to show her off to all of you). My commitment last month was to refrain from buying or providing her (or any child in my life) any “sugary” treats. It was tougher than I thought it would be; instead, we went on healthy picnics with delicious food, gorgeous scenery and fun games.

I believe the best thing we can do to support our kids is to continue to focus on our own recovery.

With love and abstinence,

Amanda

Hello,
 
Wow, I can’t believe we are in the third week of September already…I was a little shocked when I looked at the calendar today and realized we are only 3 weeks away from Thanksgiving (don’t panic, I am talking about the Canadian Thanksgiving). Fall is certainly evident all around me. I am currently in New Jersey having just participated in the “A Vision 4 You” OA conference – which was truly amazing, inspiring and hopeful – where the leaves are falling and changing colours (that’s Canadian for colors). What a beautiful time of year!!
 
As we continue to highlight Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, our amazing and brilliant Mary, shares her story (see below) of growing up as an obese child and the lifelong scars that the bullying and oppression she suffered have left. Mary talks about how in the third grade she already weighed more than many of her teachers and that she started praying that she would die as the pain was far too much to bear as a young girl. These blunt statements can be hard to read, however we must face the reality and not turn a blind eye. In Mary’s case we also get to see a miraculous recovery…let’s continue to share our stories of pain and recovery in hopes that young people no longer need to suffer the ugly consequences of compulsive eating and food addiction.
 
Keep reading to hear Mary’s heart wrenching story of a young girl who missed out on a happy, joyous childhood as no one in her life knew there was a way out, no one knew there was a clear path to recovery…a path to a life that every child on this earth deserves. Let’s make sure kids today aren’t robbed of this life because the adults around them don’t know about food addiction and the proper treatment. I believe that as a recovered food addict it is my obligation to share this message!
 
I am heading to Florida soon (won’t feel so much like Fall there) as we have a Primary Intensive starting October 6^th. It’s a great time to recommit to your program, and I would love to see you there.
 
Peace & abstinence,
Amanda

Dear ACORN Family,

I hope you have enjoyed our emphasis on National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month.  Obviously it is a topic that several of your ACORN staff wanted to write on, and I am no exception.  I am going to share a little of my personal story growing up with childhood obesity.

As an obese child, life was very hard.  In fact, I can honestly say that it was brutal and something that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.  I know that many of you can relate.

I was born a healthy weight of just over seven pounds.  I was a cute little girl with curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes.  I was the second child born in my family and my sister and I were loved and cherished.  I was a “normal” weight until around three years old when I became “chubby.”

My first memory of sensing that I was “different” because of my size was when I was five years old.  One of my young friends and I sang, “My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean,” at a summer neighborhood talent show.  As I stood on the stage singing my little heart out, proud as I could be, I sensed that some people in the audience were laughing at me because I was fat.

By the time I was in third grade I weighed 130 pounds which was more than some of the teachers.  Throughout my school years I was subjected to daily teasing, mocking, jokes, stares from people of all ages, bullying on the playground, exclusion from gym teams and being ostracized by my peers.  With each passing year my weight increased approximately 30 pounds and my self-esteem and self-worth plummeted.  The pain was too great for me to bear and, as a young girl, I prayed many nights that I would die in my sleep.  I hated myself.  I hated my life.  But even more so, I hated having to face yet another day with its painful repetition of the day before.

I felt vulnerable to constant negative attention every time I was out in public.  One time, with tears rolling down my chubby cheeks, I told my father that I felt sad and hurt by all the kids teasing me.  He told me that he had been a fat kid too and that he knew how I felt.  With sadness in his eyes, he offered his young daughter the only comfort that he had known which was to simply tell myself that “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  I believed my daddy and tried his advice.  When kids teased me, I told myself what he had said.  It didn’t help.  I still felt sad and lonely and hurt.  That was the last time I remember telling anyone about the pain.

In seventh grade I weighed 270 pounds and by the time I was a junior in high school I weighed 290.  The experience of obesity during my teen years was excruciating.  I was never asked to a dance or attended a prom.  I was kicked, tripped and spat at in the hallway.  Every day was a matter of survival until, at the end of each day, I could walk into my home and fill myself with my favorite “comfort foods” which consisted of cookies, chips, and other snack foods that gave me that much-needed sense of relief.

As an adult, people have asked me why my parents allowed me to get so fat.  Why didn’t they help me?  Why did they let me eat so much?  In fact, by today’s standards, I might have been removed from my family home, my parents accused of abusing me.

I am quite clear about one thing: I do not blame my parents.  My obesity was not their fault.  They had no control over my mental obsession with sugary foods and had little, if any, control over my consumption of them.  I hid food.  I stole food.  I snuck food.  I lied about food.  I know today that my parents did their absolute best to support a daughter who, without their understanding, was suffering with the disease of food addiction.

Both of my parents were overweight and did not have access to recovery prior to their early deaths.  Of my four siblings, one sister and one brother have weight issues but they do not identify with my experience of bingeing on addictive foods.  I do not know if they are addicted to food; it is not for me to determine.  Even more to the point, however, my other brother and sister – who were raised in the same household, with the same parents, and with access to the very same foods – have never had an eating or weight problem.  So, I do not subscribe to the belief that obesity is entirely a problem of family or environment.

I have learned a great deal since growing up as an obese child and adult.  I first heard about compulsive eating and food addiction while attending a food-related twelve step fellowship in the mid 80s.  I learned that some people have an abnormal reaction to certain foods – for me, primarily sugar, flour and volume – and that those with this addictive disease and/or predisposition cannot safely eat certain foods in any quantity.

About that same time I attended my first inpatient food addiction treatment program.  I was 34 years old and weighed 340 pounds.  While there I discovered that my obesity was a symptom of the disease of food addiction.  I worked hard in treatment and wholeheartedly surrendered to their direction.  Upon leaving, I continued a multi-faceted recovery journey that lasted well over a year.

As the weight came off, I began to think that I had somehow overcome this addiction and that I didn’t need to do so many of the actions that had given me a sense of freedom from the weight and from the obsession.  This thinking led to four years of relapse where my will to live was of no match for my will to binge.  My last binge lasted 42 days and I gained 56 pounds, during which time I decided that I would eat until I died.  I knew that I could not stop; and I knew that life would not be worth living without sugar.  I was done.

Yet, deep inside of me, there was a little spark of hope, and in January 1990 I recommitted myself to a residential treatment program that used the addictive model.  This time I stayed for five weeks followed by three months in a halfway house for food addicts.  Pain had become a huge motivator.

I surrendered to their direction and did whatever I was told were the  recommendations for treating advanced food addiction:  putting my abstinence first, no matter what; weighing and measuring my food without exception; structuring my daily life around what I need to do to be abstinent and in recovery; surrendering to rigorous participation in a food-related, twelve step fellowship;  cultivating a spiritual life; building a strong network of support; getting professional counseling as needed; committing to helping others who suffer with this disease.

All of these actions – and more – have enabled me to live free of food bingeing and the mental obsession of addictive foods and for over 27 years maintaining a 195-pound weight loss for over 25 years.

The internal scars of growing up as an obese child are, to some extent, still with me, and I continue to experience ongoing healing as a result of the daily actions that I am guided to take.

In reflecting upon my story, my thoughts turn to the hundreds of thousands of obese children all around us who may be suffering in silence and don’t yet know how to get out of their excruciating pain.

While I am grateful for the heightened awareness of bullying in recent years, I also know that bullying and oppression against fat kids and adults continue.  As I perused a few websites specific to Childhood Obesity Awareness Month, I did not come across one article that addressed the possibility of food addiction in our youth and the need for abstinence from addictive foods.  I support the work of organizations like the Food Addiction Institute and others who seek to promote education and treatment for food addiction.

My hope and prayer is that every food addict have the strength and courage to continue their abstinence journey such that our voices and our very beings may share a resounding message of hope, of recovery, and of healing from food addiction and obesity. 
 
What will you do this month to share your awareness of childhood obesity and offer hope to those who still suffer?  Having an abstinent day today is one positive step.  I commit to do that.  Will you?

I offer you my love and prayers for ongoing abstinence and recovery,

Mary

Upcoming Events: 

• September 30 – Eating, eating and more eating…Why can’t I STOP? – East Greenwich, Rhode Island – Space is still available!
• October 6 – 11 – Primary Intensive – Bradenton, Florida
• October 14 – 16 – “3-Days with Phil” – Bradenton, Florida
• November 3 – 5 – Alumni Retreat – Vancouver, Canada (details to follow)
• November 10 – 15 – Primary Intensive – Vancouver, Canada

Hey New Englanders,

We have two great events coming to your neck of the woods in September, and we want to give you the opportunity to register, as they will fill up fast.

September 23-25 we have a “3 Days with ACORN” happening in Rhode Island. Join food addiction specialist Amanda Leith (me) and medical doctor Beth Rocchio as we lead a small group of participants into a deeper level of recovery and toward freedom from the shackles of food addiction. Both Dr. Beth and I have been trained in the ACORN Professional Training program.

The following weekend, on Saturday, September 30, Dr. Beth and I will lead a one-day workshop, Eating, Eating & More Eating … Why Can’t I Stop?! This workshop is open to all and is geared towards individuals new to the idea of Food Addiction, answering the big questions: the Whats, the Whys and the Hows of why some of us just simply can’t stop eating no matter what the negative consequences. The workshop will offer solutions to this baffling obsession with food, eating and weight.

I am super excited to be facilitating these two events with the brilliant Dr. Beth. Both of us have personally struggled with food addiction and have therefore experienced an up-close and personal journey with this disease – both in the drudgery of it and in the miracle of recovery.

We look forward to hearing your stories, sharing our personal journey and, ultimately, finding a deeper level of food addiction recovery.

Please see the flyer below for program specifics and registration information. Both events have limited space so connect with us soon to ensure your spot. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally if you have questions about whether either of these programs is a right fit for you or someone you love. You can reach me by email at [email protected].

See you in September,

Amanda

P.S. I hear I am in for a treat being in Rhode Island in September. I can’t wait to be with you all and see the wonder of the Fall leaves changing.

Upcoming Events: 
September 22 – 24 – 3-Days with ACORN – Greenwich, RI
October 6 – 11 – Primary Intensive – Bradenton, FL

Weekly Teleconference “Nuts & Bolts”
***NEW NUMBER BELOW***

Please join us Wednesday evenings for recovery support.
This no-cost abstinence support group is open to all. Led by Sherri Goodman, professional trainee. [email protected]
Wednesdays at 7 pm (EST.)
Conference call in number:
(605) 468-8002
Access Number 1014962#

“Summer freedom”–I’m not sure if prior to my recovery I would have included those two words in the same sentence and really meant them.

Summer means sunshine, warmth, outdoor fun, beautiful flowers filling the air with exquisite scents, daylight lasting until after 9 p.m., swim suits, shorts and tank tops.  For me, before recovery, my “summer freedom” equaled profuse sweating, with perspiration rolling down my neck and face and my hair sticking to my forehead–a very sexy look!  Added to that was an uncomfortable heat rash, meaning major chafing between my legs and under my stomach roll … painful, and often smelly, not to mention amusing!  When I thought no one was looking, I walked as if a beach ball were stuffed between my legs so my thighs wouldn’t rub together and exacerbate the rash. “Summer freedom” also meant avoiding the beach and pools at all costs–or going only when I was basically the only other human being there because if people saw me in my bathing suit, they would know I was overweight (ummm, I think it was pretty obvious fully clothed, Amanda). “Summer freedom” also meant lying to my friends when they invited me places like the beach. It meant camping, which I actually really enjoyed until the sadness crept in, mainly because camping included eating junk food all day and night. As the rest of the world became excited and energized, connecting with others in the picturesque outdoors, I stood on the sidelines watching–sad, lonely, and ashamed–and all the while desperately trying to portray that all was good and that my life was great.

The truth was my life was far from great as I was tethered to my obsession with food, body and weight. No, freedom was not a word I would use to describe my life, and certainly not a word I would use to describe summer.

However, now that I am in stable food addiction recovery, “freedom” is exactly the word I would use to describe the feelings I’ve been experiencing this summer. I have the “freedom” to take my niece, Georgia, hiking up Grouse Mountain and know that when she gets tired and “can’t walk anymore,” as is almost a guarantee with any four-year-old, I have the ability to hoist her onto my shoulders and keep going. (I know Georgia doesn’t look too impressed in this picture, but I promise we had a super fun day–this was just after her dramatic experience of “being cold, wanting to go home, and not being able to take one more step,” which was followed two minutes later by her “having so much fun!”)

I have the freedom to hop on my bike with my Dad and go for a spin around beautiful Vancouver.

And I’ve saved the best for last:  I have the freedom to snuggle with my niece and feel the pure contentment, peace and utter joy that this little human being is in my life. Yes, I could have done this before, as well as all the other things listed above.  However, they would have been far more physically challenging–I didn’t really have a lap that my niece could sit on!  More importantly, I would not have been truly present, as my mind would have been hijacked either by obsessing over how I looked or what I was going to be able to eat next–or even more devastating, how much I hated myself and my life!

Yes, recovery has brought me freedom to live a life beyond my wildest dreams, including all the ups, downs, and in-betweens that make up life in our magnificent world. It has allowed me to show up for my niece and for everyone else in my life in an authentic, integral way.

Today I am truly grateful that I can honestly say “summer” and “freedom” in the same sentence and know they truly fit together.

Wishing the rest of your summer is full of abstinence, fun and freedom! 

Amanda

Upcoming Events: 

September 22 – 24 – 3-Days with Phil – Homewood, IL
September 22 – 24 – 3-Days with ACORN – Greenwich, RI
October 6 – 11 – Primary Intensive – Bradenton, FL

Weekly Teleconference “Nuts & Bolts”
***NEW NUMBER BELOW*** 

Please join us Wednesday evenings for recovery support.
This no-cost abstinence support group is open to all. Led by Sherri Goodman, professional trainee. [email protected]
Wednesdays at 7 pm (EST.)
Conference call in number:
(605) 468-8002
Access Number 1014962#